Last night, a group of about 40 guys gathered together for a retreat through the Christian Campus House. It was AWESOME! Food, competition, sports, worship, small groups, truth-speaking, etc... What more could a guy ask for??? After a couple hours, a certain smell started to permeate throughout the gym where we were staying, but you got used to it after a while... Smelliness aside, there is something about hanging out with a bunch a guys that sparks certain thoughts, conversations, and realizations that don't occur while in mixed company; it's just the way things are. We sensor ourselves while in the company of women and for good reason! But some things get left unsaid and undiscussed that should be expressed in at least one setting.
It was great to see guys open up and communicate what was on their hearts last night. That 40-minute small group session was just plain awesome for 2 reasons: 1.) Every guy in my group opened up about something that needed to be expressed for their sake and benefit 2.) Everyone, including myself, was able to relate with something that someone else said and share their thoughts, stories, advice, etc. We talked about family, friends, school, girls, college life, struggles, triumphs, experiences, future aspirations, and God's love and power. If nothing else, each one of us realized that there is someone out there who is going through the same or at least a very similar situation as us. That group allowed us to build community.
Proverbs 27:17 says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." I always took this verse to refer solely to accountability about the sin we fall into. But last night Joe, who I wrote about in a previous blog post, presented this in a more expansive way. He mentioned that the sharpening that takes place can also be encouragement. Yes, as men we need to help each other out by calling out the sins of our close brothers in love and helping them achieve success in these areas (though God is the only one who brings these successes), but we are to just as passionately "encourage one another and build each other up." 1 Thessalonians 5:11 We talked about this same concept in my education orientation class Thursday. This idea that as teachers, we have a tendency to focus on the downfalls of our students (or nicely: "how they can improve"). There is nothing wrong with pointing out the flaws in our pupils, but the encouragement we give them in celebrating their successes makes just as big of a difference as improving their faults. The reasons I believe I don't do this more often with my friends is I let my pride get in the way. I build up this insecurity by standing in front of a mirror (whether physical or mental) and pointing out each imperfection. My focus becomes me.
This brings me to the second big truth that Joe revealed last night. He was talking about how guys and girls alike share this common theme of being dissatisfied with themselves in some way, shape, or form. Whether physically, academically, occupationally, relationally, or spiritually, we find ourselves discontent with our bodies, minds, successes, lives. But what if we deliberately decided to stand in front of that same mirror and take a new perspective- the perspective of a child of God. We were created IN HIS IMAGE! God created each one of us individually as unique members of His grand family with gifts and abilities to change the world for His glory! Yes, we have our shortcomings, but those don't have to be our focus. CS Lewis once said, "Humility isn't thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less." Spending countless amounts of time, energy, and emotion pointing out every flaw that I possess is exhausting, depressing, and produces no beneficial effects whatsoever. Instead, I'm going to use that time to realize that God created me special and for a purpose, and I'm going to attempt to recognize just what He has for me to do with this unique pallet of abilities I've been entrusted with.
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